Grateful for Fighting

Yesterday Phil and I had a fight. Like most of our fights, it started with me. I had to go to Seattle for a business trip, and we'd planned to have me drive myself down to the airport. We were going to wake up early, jump my car (because hello, working from home, I hardly ever drive), and then I'd head out.

Mentally I agreed with the plan, but emotionally I hoped that Phil would drive me. And then, irrational as I can sometimes be, I was offended when he didn't jump on my newly proposed plan to drive me when I asked him about an hour before I needed to leave. Like, how did I not think that he clearly had his day planned already? And how do I always forget how annoying it is to drive someone to the airport? 

Similar to most (if not all) of our fights, it lasted about an hour. Mostly because Phil tried to apologize and I grasped my perceived offense as if it were a dinghy in the middle of my ocean of emotions. I think our fights would be seconds, or mere minutes long if I could just let things go easier. But I digress...

But within moments, it all melted away. He looked at me, apologized from the bottom of his heart (as if he had something to apologize for), and then hugged me in that tender way that only Phil can. As we said our prayers before heading out for the day, I thanked God for our fight and that we were able to forgive each other. 

Phil laughed, and I know he thought it was weird that I would be grateful for a fight. But I can honestly say that I'm grateful for every single fight we've ever had. Not because fighting is fun, but because of what it's taught me. 

We're never fighting against each other, we're always fighting for each other. We always fight because our love runs so deep, and hurt or offense with a love like that cuts a lot deeper than any other hurt. Our fights show me that we truly need each other, that we love each other, and that we expect so much of each other. Each fight, and corresponding forgiveness, strengthens that love that I so deeply cherish. Because the best things really are worth fighting for...